Revenge of the animals - Monkey Menance
Written on December 11th, 2022 by {"login"=>"jcbphc21", "email"=>"f20181005@hyderabad.bits-pilani.ac.in", "display_name"=>"Journal Club, BPHC", "first_name"=>"Journal Club", "last_name"=>"BPHC"}30th of August 2022, the first day of the new academic session for Akshat. In a cheerful mood," I will have a quick bath, finish my breakfast on time, and then head off to acad block to attend all my classes for the first time; yay!!" he exclaimed happily, making his way to the bathroom, right next to his room. You see, readers, till now, everything had fallen into place for our protagonist. Last semester, he had chosen the most excellent wingmates comprising all kinds of people from Ghots to tech pros to super Litesians. He was allotted the best room with the best view on campus overlooking the Old football field.
Even the washrooms, which are otherwise pretty shitty in a normal BITSian hostel, turned out to be pristine in his wing! So, as our hero came out of a rather satisfying hot water bath, he was greeted by a furry figure tugging at his bathroom towel. Akshat put on his glasses to look at the hairy figure and was left petrified. It was a full-grown male adult monkey looking right into his eyes. Akshat made a frantic run for his room, almost losing his towel in the process!
His Litesian wingie Rahul was returning after getting his supplies from CP. Satisfied by the freshly purchased snack stash and recognizing the benefits of single occupancy rooms, he was under the wrongful impression that he would not have to leave his room for the next 2 weeks. However, nature had other plans. As he was about to go up the staircase connecting the 3rd and the 4th-floor "football field" wing, he was approached by three tiny brown furry friends, yelling: "Keee, keee". After the adults, it was a chance for the kids to have fun now. After securing all exit points, the "monkey mob" leader announced: "Kee- kee kaaa". Now, call it hallucinations or some "option" language sessions Rahul had taken in middle school, he seemed to miraculously understand the monkey's words: "Give me that bag or else, you are gonna repent.". Feeling helpless, Rahul shouted: "Bachao, Bachao !!" but to no avail. The monkey leader smirked: "Shout as loud as you can; nobody will come to your aid. We have invaded your entire wing; now leave your supplies, else you will be in serious trouble". Rahul, a diehard foodie, wondered:" Yaar, Praan jaaye par supplies na jaaye", and made a beeline up the stairs outpacing the young monkeys and slamming the door behind him.
It was 9 am, and after having missed his first-ever class, ghot Kartik had had enough. He called tech pro Harsh, who was equally frustrated after he could not go mess 1 to collect his order for Rasperry pi" and "Arduino Uno" on time. They both decided, "It's high time we got to shoo away these unruly creatures, and off they rushed out with brooms and sticks." As if anticipating the attack, the monkey leapt at them with top speed, almost grabbing Kartik by the neck and forcing poor Harsh to retreat by aiming a half-eaten apple right at his face.
After facing this "primitive" humiliation, both Kartik and Harsh ran off to the newly elected Hostel Representative, Aditya, who pulled off a classic politician move by saying:" We will indeed voice your concerns to the higher authorities." For a change this time, though, he actually did !!
The next day, he wrote a mail regarding the "Monkey Menace ", and exactly a day later, he received a mail stating: "We are getting a siren alarm system, on URGENT PRIORITY." If the decision for "siren" for "monkeys" wasn't hilarious enough, "URGENT PRIORITY" definitely had me laughing hysterically, as after 4 months and countless invasions later, we are still yet to find the "Alarm System". So much so that each member in the "Football field" wing made a truce with the monkeys, often inviting the young children and infants into their rooms for fun with Rahul, engaging in a demanding career talk with the elders after finally mastering their language.