Mantriyon ki Taiyaari – BITS Pilani

Unless you have been living under a rock, welcome to 2020. Corona-chan has taken over the world. As the entire country has been placed under house arrest, students of BITS Hyderabad are in desperate need of seeking attention. Sure, playing Big Boss with Modiji and kicking out professors from online lectures was fun the first few times, but it still was not enough to alleviate the loneliness the 2017 batch was facing. With dreams of batch snaps, club farewells, and possible 3-2 memories all but washed down the drain, BITSians have diverted their attention towards the only validation they have left to receive: the 'Bon Voyage' awards. To all those who rue the lack of political thrillers being released on the silver screen, look no further than the Bon Voyage Awards Facebook group and the immense BT that come with.

To appreciate the magnitude of the awards, let us analyze the stakeholders. First off, there are the third-yearites - the stars of the show. These are the odd 30-40 students of BPHC who have carefully selected their followers, majorly through 'interacting' with the current set of second-yearites, handpicking them from clubs and departments, or just randomly picking up a hotshot strolling through Lovers Lane with his bandi. Granted, their meticulous planning was for more than just Bon Voyage (like choosing which juniors are worth the exclusive 'batchsnaps party'), but such things are out of control and so they are pulling out all the stops for Bon Voyage. Then, there are the second yearites, who wish to use their incessant campaigning as a springboard into the political world, with an eye duly on the elections. Also, the party. Then, there are the first-yearites, who have only heard of the craze that comes with college politics and are eager to experience it. There is RAF, who put up the polls. Finally, there is Zucc, who just wants to spy on all our data, but has been crying all day as his social media conglomerate has been taken over by posts spammed with countless tags.

Giving credit where it is due, even political activities have found a way to go digital. Gone are the days when a BITSian would cry himself to sleep, fearful of that moment his door breaks open and politically fueled campaigners violate his privacy. Now, it is the smartphone that is forced to suffer, as we are left with no choice but to stare in horror as our phones vibrate comparable to a patient suffering from a stroke. The second the award is released, WhatsApp groups are created, heralded by the nominees’ close friends gathering every single junior from the kids they hang out with to the guy’s name who they forgot as they waved back. Nights of gathering phone numbers during interaction finally coming to use, with such intensity that departments like DoSM and DePP would be put to shame.

THE FIRST ADVENTURE (Pun intended):

This story is akin to a 'fish out of water' scenario- instead, it's a freshie in a Bon Voyage scenario. We observe the boy waking up at 9 am to watch online lectures. It appears that this boy belongs to the subspecies ‘ghot’. The specimen has been forced by his mother to assist in the housework, grunting throughout. For recreation, the boy decides to watch a movie or an episode of a series and believes his day to have been fulfilled. However, the specimen has failed to comprehend the environment he has been forced into.

The very first poll has been released by RAF, and all hell breaks loose. The boy had been previously added to groups on social media. Instinctively, he had muted these groups, unaware of the impact these 'harmless' groups would pose to him. The Bon Voyage ecosystem punishes inaction, and the boy is forced to learn this the hard way - he wakes up from his nap to an alert of private messages to his messenger, Instagram, and Whatsapp from an enthusiastic senior. Feeling a naïve sense of importance upon being personally requested by a senior, the boy casts his vote. However, the boy has not comprehended the gravity of what was to transpire. Half of the day passes by, and it's apparent the competition is going to be a rat race between two fiercely-backed candidates. The specimen soon receives messages from seniors on the other side.  With two legs on either side of the battlefield, the boy who usually has to choose between idli or dosa is made to choose between two candidates.

 The boy has been majorly overwhelmed by the basic hostile act of the 'Bon Voyage' environment- pushy and incessant 'campaigning'. Not wanting to make enemies in an unknown environment, the boy decides to just vote for both candidates and leave it at that. But this boy hasn't played in the mud before because hands often tend to get muddied when it comes to such popularity contests. Specimen naively believes that the situation has been resolved, but this would be his undoing.

 Seniors from both sides have left missed calls. Messages follow, ordering him to remove his vote for the other. It becomes clear that the boy can never win in a game that is supposed to give a freshie 'freedom of choice'. Things only go from bad to worse as the boy's peers and classmates begin pestering him non-stop, with even more vigor. People who he saw as friends and conversed on a daily basis when in the BITS ecosystem were now tagging him in comment threads and pinging him constantly. Even his safe place - ghot groups -had been infiltrated. 

Dread settles in the air as the boy has only begun to understand how precarious this environment could be. The boy just prays for 2 pm to come faster than usual, but deadlines don't mean anything because as IST exists for India, BST exists for BITS. The haggling only becomes worse beyond the deadline as the boy's phone is just begging for the swift release of battery-loss. The boy has lost all faith and has decided to live the rest of his remaining quarantine life as a sage, disconnecting himself from social media.

ADVENTURE NO. 2:

The second story starts off a few polls after the first. Soon, a post arrives, "Polls close at 2 pm". By this point, we can barely recognize the wide-eyed hopeful specimen. Instead, we observe a boy who has renounced social media, living in true peace. His parents are perplexed to see that their boy has learned to perform exemplary skills such as 'exercising' and 'socializing without a phone'. The boy, having grown fond of this niche lifestyle he has carved in the hostile environment, has forgotten the existence of his former habitat - BITS campus, and has long forsaken any political ambitions he may have innocently harbored. The boy dreads the day he must ultimately return, not recognizing the people he feared, attention-hungry and judgmental, remembering he once revered these people. He has mentally prepared himself for next year and hopes he has overcome his trauma. Onto the next one!